As a concerned citizen, I demand that America close its alarming robot deficit. If this nation is to survive the coming robot wars, which will be shortly followed by the robot apocalypse, we must, in the least, redouble our domestic robot production. If we continue to fall behind other countries in our robot output, there is no telling what robot-lacking doom awaits us.
While many naysayers will try to sway you away from making robot production a priority. A faltering economy, terrorist threats, and millions without health care, they will tell you, should be your administrations "true" priorities. But may I only suggest that you view the terrifying documentaries I, Robot and Terminator 2: Judgement Day to understand the freightening scope we are up against.
The good news, Mr. Obama, is that it is not too late to avoid this all-too-real future hell-scape--if we act now. I would like to provide my services as a Robot Production Czar, or perhaps, with the enormity of this situation, a Secretary of Robot and Android Production position would be in order. In this position, I would have access to you at all times and could keep you up-to-date on all robot happenings as they occour. We could have a daily-scheduled Robot Lunch where I would brief you on all robot updates, their implications to the country, and what actions we should take. Of course, I understand that your schedule will occasionaly mandate that you travel abroad and we would not be able to have our daily Robot Lunch. However, Mr. Obama, with modern-day phone technology, our Daily Robot Briefing Lunchtime could takeplace over even great distances! I can promise that I would even alter my eating schedule to match lunchtime in whatever timezone you were in, so that we could both be eating lunch at the same time. This, Mr. President-Elect, is the dedication I would bring to this position.
Also, I would like to be Ghost Czar. As you know, every day millions of Americans are terrified by ghosts. Previous administrations have chosen to ignore the problem of scary ghosts, but I am hoping that your administration--one that ran on the promise of hope and change--will guard America against the plague of robot shortages and hauntings.
The choice is yours, Mr. Obama.
Sincerely,
Evan Dashevsky
